Letter to E

Dearest E,

You may try my patience at times. Like the one time in Nordstrom when you wouldn't go in your stroller, and you screamed and did that thing where your body bent backwards, and then you bit me, subsequently making me yell, making others stare at me like a crazy person?

Or those times when you act like you want me to hold you and you're all cute, but really you just want candy or something else you can't have that's on my level?

Or when you scream and yank your body back and forth when I hold you, but when Daddy holds you, you calm right down and fall asleep?

How about how you have ESP about when I'm going to change your diaper, and you wait until 30 seconds after I change it to take the biggest dump of your life?

Or when you wait to take that dump while napping, and then it blows out of your pants and gets all over the crib bedding? And it's so bad that I just have to stand back, take a second, and figure out where in the world I start cleaning up that amount of poop?

And how in the world can you take apart your sippy cups full of milk and dump them all over your pillow, bedding, and carpet? I can hardly even figure out how to take those apart to put them in the dishwasher!

Also, why is toilet paper so appealing?

And when I give you a container with goldfish or fruit, is it really necessary to chuck it at me (half full) when you're done?

Yes, you may try my patience, but you are my little boy, and you are so many other things to me! Sweet, compassionate, loving, and there is so much potential I see in you! You may be stubborn, but show me a successful person who doesn't have that trait! You are my most prized possession, I love you Burrito.